Finding My Identity as a Second-Generation Immigrant

Photo credit: @canvacreativestudio

Growing Up Between Two Worlds

I’m Cambodian Chinese, born and raised in Australia. For a long time, I felt caught up between two worlds—the cultural values of my heritage and the fast-paced, multicultural life in Australia. I grew up feeling disconnected, often hiding parts of my identity to "fit in." I didn't know what I was fitting into. But over the years, I’ve learned to embrace my culture.

By stepping out of my comfort zone, reconnecting with my culture through language and dance, and getting honest with myself, I’ve gained a deeper understanding of my identity. My ongoing journey has shown me that being true to yourself is the key to real confidence and connection.

Cultural Clash: Feeling Out of Place Everywhere

At school, I didn’t quite fit into the mainstream Aussie narrative. I noticed differences in how I spoke, the food I ate, the traditions I followed, and even the way my family interacted. 

I was always hyperaware that my background wasn’t the same as theirs, and it felt like I had to hide parts of myself to avoid standing out. But at home, I didn’t feel like I belonged either. I felt too “white-washed,” too out of place within my own family. I didn’t know where I belonged. It's experience shared by many second-generation immigrants. 

Looking back, I was torn between two worlds and neither of which I fully embraced. I was too focused on fitting in instead of celebrating my cultural heritage.

The Struggle to Please: Losing Myself in the Process

One of the hardest lessons for me was understanding this: 

Photo credit: @canvacreativestudio

I was trying to be someone I wasn’t. I was more worried about what people thought of me and less worried about myself.

I was just trying to please everyone. And, by doing that, I lost touch with myself. Only when I stopped pretending and trying to fit in, did things begin to change. 

I slowly became more confident in myself when I embraced parts of myself that I used to hide—all the quirks and complexities that came with it. When I started embracing my culture, I drew better relationships into my life. They accepted me for who I was, and for, the first time, I didn't feel like I needed to lie about my identity or change in order to "fit into" this narrow ideal. 

The Turning Point: Embracing My True Self

So, how did I get there? It wasn’t some big dramatic “aha” moment. It was simply about stepping out of my comfort zone. I signed up for Cambodian language classes and even traditional dance lessons. I decided that I wanted to be more in touch with my culture.

I’m sure people thought I was delusional, but I started not caring about what others thought. For the first time in my life, I was doing something for me—something that felt real to who I am.

Reflections: Are You Living in Two Worlds?

I want to leave you with something to think about:

Have you ever felt torn between two worlds?