The Never-Ending Cycle of Hard Work and Education: A Child of Immigrants’ Story

Photo credit: @canvacreativestudio

The Straight A Student to "Who Am I Now?"

For a long time, I thought I knew exactly who I was. I was the Type A student who studied hard, got good grades, and recognised for my achievements. I followed the rules, met expectations, and believed I was on the right path.

But once I graduated high school, my life suddenly felt so one-dimensional. The routine I had grown accustomed to for over 13 years was gone. No more assignments to complete, no clear milestones to measure success. Without the constant validation of grades and achievements, I felt empty.

Stepping into the real world, I had an identity crisis. So much of my identity had been tied to school. Without it, I felt lost. I was no longer the “top student”—so what was I now?

The Pressure to Do Better

As a child of immigrants, I grew up in a household where hard work and education weren’t just values or expectations—they were survival. My parents never forced me into a specific career, but they made one thing clear:

“Education is your way out. Work hard, and you won’t struggle like we did.”

They had left everything behind for a better future so we wouldn’t have to endure the hardships they faced. I watched them work day and night—long days, late nights, always sacrificing so that I could have more. 

I felt like I need to make up for their sacrifices. It was a massive sense of guilt. I still remember those nights, hunched over my textbooks while my mum was cooking dinner, and my dad was still at work. I would tell myself, "This is for them. This is for us."

Photo credit: @canvacreativestudio

I never questioned it for years. The structure of school kept me grounded, and I thrived in that environment. Everything changed when I graduated year 12.

Suddenly, the path wasn’t so clear anymore. I wasn’t just a student anymore—I was stepping into the “real world,” and I had no idea who I was outside of my achievements. 

The Cycle of Expectations

Being from an immigrant background, I always felt like I had to prove myself. 

1. Work harder than my peers
2. Be the best in school
3. Land the most stable career

The expectations weren’t just about doing well—I had to succeed at a level my parents couldn’t even imagine when they first arrived. The standard was always higher because failure wasn’t an option. Their struggles weren’t just their own anymore—they were part of my story, too. 

But in the process, I became trapped in a never-ending cycle of expectations. Even as I achieved more, it never felt like enough. 

There was always another goal to reach, another level of success to chase. When does it stop?

I thought success would bring me fulfilment. But instead, I started to feel like I was living a life dictated by expectations—ones that weren't even my own. Was I building a future for myself, or simply living out the dreams my parents had for me? And if I kept going at this pace, would I ever figure out what success meant to me?

Photo credit: @canvacreativestudio

Breaking The Cycle

I don’t have all the answers yet. I’m still navigating what success means outside of grades, accomplishments, and money. Some days, I feel confident in my choices, other days, the weight of expectations creeps back in. But during these past months, I've learnt:

Success isn’t just about how much you earn or the degrees you have. It’s not a title, a pay cheque, or a socially accepted milestone. 

Photo credit: @canvacreativestudio

True success is about finding meaning in what you do, staying true to your values, and allowing yourself the space to grow—outside of work, outside of education, and outside of the expectations placed upon you.

The sacrifices my parents made were never meant to trap me in a cycle of obligation. They worked hard to give me choices, not to confine me. And for the first time, I am learning to redefine success on my own terms.

Because at the end of the day, the real success story isn’t about making it to the top. It’s about living a life that feels truly yours.

Reflections: What Is Success to You?

If you’ve ever felt stuck in this cycle, constantly striving for more but aren't sure it's your dream, you’re not alone:

What’s one step you can take today to start defining success on your own terms?